12.27.2012

The holidays have provided an excellent scapegoat for avoiding the consumption of coffee. Not that I haven't drank any, but simply far less.

Taking time off from work presently. Ehh means coffee has ceased to be free.

However, I am flying, and it is a bit early, too early for this guy.

So I caved and sought out caffeine via coffee.

It's a mocha. I figured if i am going to pay for coffee, it ought to be tasty in in some way.

And it may be the worst mocha I have ever had...


Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry about the whole existence of coffee thing.

12.19.2012

First cup for a while. Not at all disappointed in that fact. The absence of coffee, that is.

"Sumatra" or something blend today.

I've learned that when you use this caramel creamer stuff, it evens the playing field between all these blends and roasts and what-not.

Now they all taste like a caramel-y cup of gross.

Caffeine is great, though.

12.10.2012

I overslept my alarm by a literal hour this morning.
Which was accentuated by the warm, cozy shower-water depleting in under a minute.

However, this enabled me to arrive at work in a reasonable time frame.

Leaving me hurried, and yet, still not fully awake.

Hence, the dirt-water.

"Christmas Blend". What could that possibly mean? What can one do to make a coffee brew actually taste like Christmas? Aside from all the flavorings and what-not, there doesn't seem to be much margin for the actual coffee bean.

Probably just put snow in it.

12.07.2012

I wish I could say I haven't drank coffee since I last wrote about it, but alas that would not be the truth.

Close, though.

It has been a while. Since last time, I've not only spent an entire week (minus a few hiccups) without caffeine, but I've also obtained a new desk. I now no longer sit in a walkway. And I have empty desk space the size of an adolescent child.

I drank coffee today to fight some recent illness-related fatigue. It was a "bold" flavor or something.

Absolutely terrible.

Now I have filled that empty desk space with an empty coffee cup.

So dismal. So gross.

11.13.2012

What a blissful weekend. I will not come close to claiming that passing the time without coffee was the amongst the best things that transpired. Not even close. I cannot give coffee that much stock in my life.

However, count your blessings, they say?

I didn't have to drink coffee this weekend. 

Counted.

"Blonde Roast" today. This - as of yet - seems to be the mildest form of disgusting I have yet to victimize my taste buds with.

Still disgusting. I believe that spot was in result to my initial gag reflex that occurs each time I take the first sip, the first step of the plank-walk...

11.09.2012

I think today I had my first true and apparent brush with "old coffee".

This stuff was not nearly as warm as I supposed, and as a result failed to disintegrate the sugar I placed into it, which resulted in an awful texture and amazingly excessively disgusting taste.

Still not really sure what "old coffee" tastes like. But if it's anything like this, I get why people in movies are always referring to "making new pots" and what-not. 

Then again, I don't really understand why people drink coffee in the first place.

Can't wait to not drink this tomorrow.

11.08.2012

Two-Cup Thursday. Yikes. 10AM and it is already a rough one.

Compounded by the fact that I deemed it more-or-less necessary to drink two cups of coffee.

Compounded by the fact that these two cups are amongst the most disgusting I have ever allowed myself to have bodily interaction with.

Compounded by the fact that coffee is disgusting.

Still, we got new cups today. At least I can enjoy the fact that soon the warmth of coffee will also be welcome, despite its taste. One day...

Until then, Deck the Halls.

11.07.2012

I am celebrating the end of the election by drinking coffee.

I know what you are thinking, "Why would one celebrate by partaking in something he loathes?" and your thoughts make an excellent point.

I am actually mildly concerned with the election itself, or its results. I do, however, despise to the greatest degree the advertisements which permeate our culture during such times.

That's all for my political rant. I am responding to those horrid and offensive ads by drinking something that is surprisingly less horrid. 

Don't get me wrong, coffee is still disgusting. Just relatively less so.

Cheers.

11.06.2012

I have deliberately chosen not to drink coffee today.

Today, it is just too disgusting.

11.05.2012

Coffee-free weekend. What bliss. What pure, unadulterated palette-bliss.

Unfortunately, for so very many reasons, it is no longer the weekend. 

And my coffee-free amok-running has sadly come to an end.

Don't be alarmed, I didn't spill my coffee and burn myself as this image may provoke your mind to imagine. I simply don't have enough hands. And coffee, like most liquids, does not like to sit still.

Although - probably because it is far more disgusting - I think it is even more unsettled in motion than other liquids. 

Science.

11.02.2012

Yesterday was spent in a blurred haze of vomiting, cat-napping, lazily working, and apathetically watching internet-television. Needless to say, it seems my body had had enough with life for the day.

And, most likely, with coffee.

Like I said, perfect scapegoat.

Welp, after entirely purging my system, I find myself less apprehensive about giving this stuff another go.

It also helps when one is cold and sleepy.

Probably be back to vomiting tomorrow.

10.31.2012

I decided to celebrate Halloween in true style: drinking coffee.

Some people don the visages of scary things from myth and legend, others find entertainment in the disturbing and questionably dead, still others take it further with lawn decorations of haunted gore and death.

Others drink disgusting beverages.

Fits.

10.30.2012

This pattern of sacrificing sleep for...things...is resulting in two very different but equally detrimental manifestations:

1. Haphazard sleepiness

2. Drinking coffee


Today, it happened to be a "Sumatra" blend. Sounds saucy. And sketchy. Typically, the two go hand-in-hand. Why should I expect coffee to be any different?

So far, I cannot discern one difference between all of these different blend things.

They have all been rather on par for the level of disgusting that all coffee maintains.

10.26.2012

This morning there was no sugar - real sugar - in any form near the coffee. It's logistaically hard to explain, but suffice it to say, I would've had to go to a lot of work to find sugar.

So I used Splenda.

This morning I discovered that Splenda, like coffee, is also disgusting. Not as bad. But disgusting is disgusting.

It's also never a good idea to combine two disgusting things.

10.25.2012

Two-Cup-Thursday. That's what I will now refer to the fourth day of the calendar week as. I think it really says a lot about Thursdays:

"Two cups?!"

"Yeah. It's an early morning at 5AM. With multiple hours of class before work."

"Still, that's a lot of coffee."

"Good point..."

I guess it doesn't quite capture it. It doesn't quite illustrate the nature of Thursday being so brutal, that I resort to drinking something so disgusting.

And do it twice.

Before 10AM.

10.24.2012

Yet again, physical fragility has driven me to attempt consumption of coffee.

I wish I could blame my physical fragility on coffee. I know I can't. I don't drink it nearly enough. But of all the things to use as a scapegoat, coffee is pretty darn ideal.

I don't know. I'll tuck that idea away. Might be useful someday.

"Blonde Roast" again. I don't mind this thing as much as most others. Probably because it's mostly water, which is apparently an essential biological component. Love water.

I can't decide what's worse, the feeling of the potential need to regurgitate, or the taste of coffee.

Pretty even.

10.22.2012

Friday I tasted what could be classified as the worst cup of coffee that has ever been made. Not trying to be dramatic. But that was a literal statement.

Back to square one.

I've taken a two-day hiatus from coffee. Conveniently, it was the weekend.

However, in light of sleep-depravity and fear of sugar-over-dose, I am giving coffee a fourteenth chance.



























"Blonde Roast". We'll see...

10.18.2012

9AM and it has already proven to be "quite a day".

Three. Days. InARow. Coffee. I'm serious. This is not okay.

Hold on.

It gets catastrophically worse...

Today, I had two cups of coffee.


It's a bit intuitive, given that Thursdays start at 5AM and posses two hours of class before work.

But also not intuitive (nor acceptable), because coffee is filthy. And I don't mean that like college kids mean it when they talk about dubstep music. I mean it like when mothers talk about their children's clothing being covered in dirt.


Water. Covered in dirt.

10.17.2012

Coffee. Full cup. Two days in a row. This is getting weird.

Don't get ahead of yourself. It still tastes rather disgusting. I would be lying if I told you I consistently finished a cup of coffee when I attempted to drink it. Just can't do it.

But shoot. I get free Starbucks at work, so I don't really lose anything...like money. Or time. Except taste buds and energy spent wincing in disgusted agony.

Today, the culprit was an "Invisible" "blend". I think because it was mostly water and food coloring. Either way, it tasted better than most coffee.

Maybe it was all that sugar I laced it with.

10.16.2012

Today, I decided to drink coffee. Not out of necessity for caffeine. Not because intense peer-pressure related to my self-esteem and manhood pushed me to it. Nope. I wanted to try it.

I went to the coffee-maker. Two options: "Blonde Roast" and "(something something) Extra Bold". Extra bold seemed like the opposite of what role I wanted to coffee to play. So I poured the blonde thing. Of course it runs dry, with only half of my cup full. "Ah well". I sigh aloud, topping off my cup with the bold stuff.

Don't kid yourself. Absolutely I added two sugars and two creams. What are you, nuts?

May it be known: Today, for some yet unknown and equally unlikely reason, coffee did not taste disgusting.

10.09.2012

Drinking coffee today out of necessity. Lack of sleep coupled with excessive work hours give caffeine an unusual allure.

Unfortunately, things like Mt. Dew and Coca Cola are fare more fruitful and pleasing mediums of obtaining the caffeine-originating alertness.

Still they taunt me. "It's more healthy". "It's warm and tasty". "It doesn't kill your sperm or give you cancer". Whatever.

Today, like every day before it, coffee is disgusting.

10.03.2012

I guess I'm a few cups into my "career" as a coffee drinker.

I wouldn't call myself a coffee drinker. I just do it for the sake of others. Others telling me I should want to like coffee.

I have this stigma against acquired tastes. If you have to go through myriads of toil, anguish, and scalded tongue-flesh to arrive at a point where something tastes good - this thing is not worth tasting.

Coffee is an acquired taste. If there is a homosapien that claims to have liked coffee from their very first taste - they are wrong. Or they had memories erased, like in that Ben Affleck movie, Paycheck.

09.26.2012

I didn't even make it two whole days before trying coffee again.

I really need to spend less time with baristas...there is too much social pressure to consume something that both burns my mouth, and tastes like boiled clay.

Today I imbibed what was to my taste buds something quite similar to every other "cup of coffee" I have yet encountered...

It was disgusting.

I did, however, have a very few and fleeting moments of hopeful bless when I would feel the warm and familiar presence of sugar against my tongue...but I guess that is just because sugar tastes good...

09.24.2012

Hey...

Today I had what seems to be my first intentional cup of "normal" coffee for years.

It was disgusting.

I say "normal" because I possess no other words in my vernacular with which to describe it. It's not a mocha, or a latte, or cappuccino (as far as I can tell)  or any of those other incredibly complicated and surprisingly tasty coffee-spiced drinks. It's just...coffee.

I put some cream and sugar in there. One of each. This is how I would describe how much I think it altered the offensive and pervasive flavor of coffee: not at all.

Sigh...maybe I will try again. One day...